back?

As a freshly minted 28 year old I've realized that I have lots of advice and wisdom to impart on others as well as a vault full of shenanigans that others might get a kick out of. So with that, I am returning to the blogging world.

At least that's the plan.

So, here's hoping I can stick to a plan (daily posts...maybe 3-4 times a week?) and get fun stuff up on the interwebs.

Wish me luck!
C$

Untitled

Wow. That's all I can say. I don't remember writing my last post in August, but do remember what Mr. Big did to make me think things were over. I remember it like it was yesterday and it still stings a bit, especially since, 6 months later it may actually be over.

We had moved on since August. Became friends again. Texting, flirting, emailing, gchatting, hanging out all the things that friends do, but me, I wasn't just his friend. I was in it for the thrill. The thrill that maybe he would suddenly wake up one day and realize that I was someone he wanted to be with.

And friend I was. I was the one he told everything to. The one he could bitch opening and honestly with because he knew I'd never tell. But more importantly, because I'd like to think he knew, I listend and put up with his crap because I cared. I wasn't going to use the info he gave me to hurt him, help me get in better with his friends. I wasn't going to use his friendship to help me along in my career or any other aspect of life. It was friendship in it's truest form.

Well except for that minor thing that I thought I could fall in love with him.

Yeah. I was that girl.

When my friends made it very clear that they didn't like him. They didn't like how he treated me or, perhaps, even as a person, I kept making excuses: "but he's so funny," "we get along so well," "yeah he's kind of a jerk, but he's got a decent heart," etc etc etc I pulled my friend aside and said, "I know we have all of our issues but, I think we're meant to be together, forever. I think he's the one." Her answer offered without hesitiation: "no, C$, you are not meant to be together forever." I just shrugged my shoulders and went off in bliss.

Ignorance is bliss.

Why, all of a sudden, did I decide that maybe it's done for good, almost 10 months to the day. Because of an unreturned text. It's been 24 hours and nothing.

Nothing.

I guess that's what "we" were: nothing.

BUT, I am not nothing. I deserve... something from someone that actually cares about me. Not something better than anyone else, but something better than I've had in the past. Looking at past relationships, I don't know if I've every actually really had one.

Maybe 2009 can be my year?

to blog or not to blog, that is the question

I think I might be back to dear old blog, if just for myself. Part of me thinks that I went away because I was tired of writing/thinking about my life instead of living it. I'd like to think that I can do both, at least somewhat for a while. I need an outlet for the things that are going on in my life, and as much as I love (and thank) my friends for being there, sometimes I just need to be able to vent without having to censor myself or my feelings.

A lot has happened in the year since I posted. A lot of good and some not so good. I'd like to think I've learned a lot about myself, but that might not be true. I really don't know. I do know I've learned more about what I need from the people that I allow in my life. Although I don't always listen to my own gut feelings about people (especially boys, BIG surprise there) but when reading previous posts I believe I've learned to put up with less from those types of guys.

My own Mr. Big is on his way out of my life, at least, I hope. He's caused to much stress and drama into my life that just isn't worth it. To think about the time I've spent thinking (over-anaylizing) what his text, email, gchat, comment "really means". The time spent calling my girlfriends for their advice on the perfect response back to his text, email, gchat, comment. Thinking about what he said to me when we first met compared to what he said or did yesterday. His actions would never allow him to stay in my life as a friend, why would I allow him to stick around as a 'something'?

For the first time since I've known him (3.5 months) he apologized for something. Who knows why he did it. But I thought it was a step in the right direction. Boy, was I wrong. It only took less than 24 hours when I realized he wasn't really sorry, he just knew he had to do something to show some effort. It all seems so silly and minor, but when added all together, his actions speak much louder than any text, "I'm sorry about EVERYTHING..." could ever make up for.

He makes me act like a drama-ridden girl that we all hate. It drives me crazy that, around him, I can't seem to put together two thoughts into a coherent statement, that we always seem to be "fighting" about something or other. Nothing is ever easy with him. I never thought it would be, but I also didn't think it would be all drama, all the time when it comes to him. The night I met him the girl he was with (his best friend's ex) told me he had his heart broken but that he was great guy that had been hurt. Sorry, there's only so much I can tolerate before taking it personally.

And yet, there's something about him that doesn't allow me to just walk away. Is it because I can't have him? Is it because he doesn't seem interested? Who knows. But I do know that I cannot keep calling my friends, drunk, bitching about him again. I can't use him as an excuse to drink and/or go on the prowl for someone else. I can't use him as an excuse to be mad, anymore.

Here's to new beginnings....

Be Aggressive, B-E AGGRESSIVE

If I had just one bit of advice for men out there, it would be one thing: be aggressive. Nothing, I mean, NOTHING is more attractive than a man that knows what he wants and goes after it with every fiber of his being. *

I'm not sure what happened in our society where men were told that what woman want is a sensitive man that allows her to make all the decisions. Is it a backlash of the feminist movement? That men interpreted our desire for power, freedom, equality as a reason to become lazy and unmotivated? That a strong-willed woman only is attracted to a weak man that'll give into her every demand?

Can't a woman be independent and self-sufficient and still want someone to open the pickle jar for her?

Woman are often attracted to the asshole, this isn't news to anyone, but I think it comes down to science--he appears to be the strongest of the pack, the one that would be the best provider. However, women don't want to be with the asshole. We don't want to love the asshole. We want to be with the nice guy that has a bit of a edge to him. (For those Swingers fans...a little more Trent and a little less Mikey.)


I am exhausted of meeting a guy that seems great only to find out that he's weak. He ends up relying on me for more than I'm willing to give him. Whether it be emotionally, physically, financially, etc. I seem to be perfectly capable of taking care of myself, why can't he? Or he is initially attracted to my independence but starts to resent it when I'm not clinging on his every word.

Nothing impresses me more, or any of my female friends, than a guy that is able to seal the deal/make the move/score a touchdown. Don't just eye flirt. Or spend hours talking to us and not ask for the number. Make the move. Be the man we want to be with.



*There is a fine line between being aggressive and being a jerk. Learn that line and live it.

A few of my favorite things....

Chris Drury







Rick DiPietro


















Tom Poti

Jay Pandolfo

Mike Grier

Ryan Whitney

Freddy Meyer

Shawn Bates


Tony Amonte

Adrian Aucoin

















And there are a lot more where these came from......

What Women Really Want Men to Know (according to Men's Health)

I heard about this on Hot 99.5 this morning while showering and decided to add my two cents, my comments are in bold:

50 Things She Wishes You Knew
Universal truths that all men should--but don't--understand

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count. True.

2. Real men drive stick shift. Lordy lordy is this true!

3. I will leave if you lie. Depends on what you lie about?

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts). For the most part yes. If the comment was "you look cute in a ratty baseball hat" then the answer would be definitely YES

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so. Yep.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear. Sure

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look. That's easy: yes

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you. Most likely.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her. Yep.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you. Most def. Who doesn't like getting email?

11. I expect you to call me. Yes. HOWEVER, I don't like it when you call me for the sake of calling me...trying to win yourself points. I'd rather you not call for a day or two if you have nothing to say and then call me out of the blue. BUT if you say you are going to call, call.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants. And there's only a limited number of rockstars that should be wearing them.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence. Sorta, kinda, yeah.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be. Always.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick. It should never be "your get out of the doghouse card"...it should be part of the routine.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.) Probably.

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want. d. you did something stupid and it's payback e. you are too drunk

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not. Heck yeah.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it. I own the tape! But will refrain from using it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing. That's easy.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies. It's the little things.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items. Yep.

23. You should never tell me what to do. Yep. Unless it has something to do with cars or fixing things, then it should be "I suggest..."

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast. Or at least an attempt at breakfast. You know you'd get it at my place.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking. Sure, why not?

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes. Always.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice. Everyone loves being asked for their advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead. Be an agressive/alpha male=hot. Show me your sensitive side=turn off.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color. Always, but blue is always a winner.

30. I want to be Madonna. Who doesn't?

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers. Please

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand. Again, do it 'cause you want to. Not 'cause you think I want you to.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby. Sweet Jesus yes.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now. Be honest with me.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving. True. But any surprise is good, even those that are free (they are often the best!)

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this. Yes. And I want you to be the best thing that happened to me.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking.... Looking-yes. Touching-?

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times. Agreed. UNLESS it's to give me a compliement and should only be used minimally.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself. I like it when you talk to me.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points. Celebrating too early is a bit freaky....wait until it's something big OR completely dorky. Like, it's been one month since you first cooked for me...

41. I love it when you're sweaty. Yep. Makes me think of other things that get you sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas. Agreed.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses. Kisses yes, a full out make-out session, no.

44. I like porn. Sure. Is there something wrong with that?

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands. I guess....

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public. It's usually the nice girls that like it the most.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read... Yep

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat. Yep.

49. I remember everything about our relationship. Yep

50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you. Although part of me agrees with this statement, the better half of me knows that isn't fair. That's why guys call girls crazy and girls call guy jerks. Be honest. Be fun. Be caring. But be a man and I think we'll be fine.


Comments from the peanut gallery?

Desperately Seeking....

tickets to Saturday's last Washington Caps home game vs. the Buffalo Sabres.

Silly me, I waited to see if others wanted to come and in the meantime lost out on purchasing tickets for the 3 others that actually responded to my email. PEOPLE if someone says "let me know if you wanna come" please please respond, even if it's a NO.

Anyway, I'm looking for 4 seats...could be broken up 2 and 2...for anything cheaper than what is on stubhub.com ($42 for $10 tickets). My friends and I have gone to 15+ games this season and can't believe we might not make it to the last game of the season. There might have been a few tears shed last night when our fate was realized.

Any suggestions welcome, DC Bloggers in the know. Leave a comment or email (theboublog [at] gmail.com] with ideas, ticket offers, well wishes.

Thanks!
C$