Square One

It's been over a month since I've posted and I don't really have a decent excuse except that I've been pooped. I've tried to stay off blogger.com at work (since they do track stuff...) and coming home and writing a blog post just doesn't appeal to me at all. I thought about writing stuff in Word and just emailing it myself for posting later that night, but I was often distracted by reading everyone else's blog that even attemping to put something down just bored the hell out of me.

I'm not sure how long it'll be until my next post, but I am attempting to get back into the swing of it. I enjoyed writing and reading and it's always been interesting to me to read what others think about me (or my thoughts/actions) as well as reading back over old posts and reliving emotions from long ago.

It seems like a lot has happened in the last ~40 days and yet, nothing really. Same old same old. Work has been crazy and miserable. At least three times I thought I came thisclose to being fired and about five times I came thisclose to walking out. It just isn't a good situation, but I'd rather leave with a job offer in hand intsead of walking out (or being fired) with nothing to back me up. I've been job searching in my off time and have a pile of printouts that all seem pretty viable, but just don't have the juice to sit down and write anything. It took me a good week to finish re-writing my resume and I have yet to do anything with it at this point.

I'm in a rut and I HATE it. But then again, I'm pretty happy with my life...I guess I should focus on the bad things (in particular work) so that I actually start moving with that instead of focusing on the good stuff that is getting me through all the crap.

I feel as though everyone is going through a rut about now. Is it the weather? The change in seasons? The fact that the school year has started (or did last month) and we're not going back to school and are instead, still doing the same thing over and over again? How does one keep life exciting and interesting when the occupied with the same things?

Another issue I'm dealing with is my own health (?). I am always exhausted and I'm not sure if it's a medical condition or depression or a little of both. I've always been tired but usually can kick it after a couple of weekends sleeping in and doing nothing. Doing what's worked in the past just isn't cutting anymore. I'm worried it's something more but don't want to face the fear of it being something bad.

eh.

Despite the theme of this post, I'm actually not as sad as I sound/read. I think it has something to do with being introspective when things are not going perfect....maybe I'll return to blogland for something new :)