sometimes i get so annoyed

with my friends. i know that i shouldn't, but sometimes i just can't handle their BS. for example:

a. they are lonely and claim to have no friends. I offer suggestions of social activities and things that they could do. i encourage them to attend events that they've been invited to but are too scared to go to alone (GOD FORBID they enter a room alone or do anything on their own). i talk then down every ledge when they are just about ready to jump. and YET they haven't offered any of the same advice to me over the year when i've gone through the same exact thing, but in an unfamiliar location. at least they were in their homes (or places they knew well) but I had only spent a few months here back in the Fall of '03 and all the people i know are long gone. they know people in their emotion's that they could call on for friendship if they weren't so damn picky.

b. none of them have come to visit me. i have gone to CA once and boston numerous times to see these "friends" of mine and they have yet to come see me. and it's not like they don't have the time/money to come--they tell me of the trips they are planning with their other friends or to see other friends (ie. Vegas for a birthday trip and Japan to see someone she hasn't seen in a few months). i realize that DC is no Vegas or Japan, but it does have it's qualities PLUS i'm here. what more should they need to come see me. why am i a sucker and willing to pay mad loads of cash to make them happy and they have yet to do anything for me?

c. we all claim to be and don't want to be "those girls" and yet we are. we analyze everything to the n-the degree. i am guilty of this but need a friend or two who will stop me from doing it.

d. my friends don't understand me or my moods. they think that i'm just moody for the hell of it but usually has something to do with them and not with me personally. For example, marathon monday: i wanted to see mandy run. that was the reason i went up to boston in the first place. when i couldn't get a hold of her, i wanted to plant myself on beacon street, drinking beer and cheering people on. that's what i wanted to do and it thought it was pefectly desirable activities. but what did we end up doing? walking from Beacon street down to the Commons, to sit in the fing gardens playing cards and throwing around the football. what part of college did these girls miss in which: you drink every possible opportunity available. you do not pass it up for a mean game of gin rummy. i was in a pissy mood because we're lame and i know it. i can't stand it. no wonder i had a subpar college experience compared to the REST of the world. i wish i had made more friends while at BU instead of sticking with those girls.

e. don't make me feel guilty for wanting to hang out with my mom while i'm in boston. come now.

f.don't be hypocritical. don't call yourself a feminist if you don't believe in pro-choice. prochoice does NOT (and will NEVER mean) pro abortion. there is a HUGE different and just by saying you believe women should have a choice doesn't mean that you think abortion is the only option. you're rich. you have family that'll support you in financial ways that i can only dream of . i have family who'd support me if i had a child, but not financially. i'd have to move home, work full time and my mom would have to do the same. it wouldn't be easy but we'd do it. don't think that your situation is more normal than it actually is. more people are in my position then yours, so don't go around preaching.

g. i'm glad i didn't become a teacher because of teachers like you who play by all the rules. i wouldn't have been able to do it. just from what you tell me, i get outraged and want to question the status quo. what is wrong with change? i just don't' understand it. teaching is a wonderful profession but don't look down at those of us who don't teach, but believe we are doing something just as valuable.

ok that's my rant. hopefully no one mentioned will find this...
C$