Update #1

So it's been quite a while since I've posted anything of substance. I will do my best to recap everything that's happened in the last 2.5 weeks, but I might forget stuff. My hope is to blog at home and update each morning-we'll see long it lasts! So, here's what's been going on in my life:

1. My last day at the Pit was Jan 24th. That might my coworker M took me and invited a bunch of people to a happy hour at Cap Lounge. Sadly, none of my 'friends' showed up, but I still had fun with my softball team from the summer and M and her bf T. I got a text from DCBoy around 9 saying that he had forgotten his ID at home but was standing outside of Cap Lounge trying to get in. I ran out, thinking that he might still be there but was disappointed. I called and left him a message, "thanks for coming, sorry about them IDing they never ID." and asked him about some bar in Adam's Morgan that the girls and I were thinking of heading to on Saturday. He returned my my phone call with a text, calling himself a dumbass and informing me that Chloe is just awesome and that we should go.

2. I took off the 25th and 26th to have a few days to do laundry, run errands and sleep! which is exactly what i did. I took it easy on the 25th and did absolutely nothing and then on Thursday I rented a zipcar so that i could do a dry run of my commute to The Firm for if and when i were to buy a car. After sitting in traffic for almost an hour, I headed to Ikea (!) to purchase some stuff for my house. I ended up buying an additional dresser for my bedroom, a day bed to turn my twin bed into a couch and lots of throw pillows. The Scion I had rented was PACKED full, it was crazy. I then headed to downtown DC to pick up a few remaining items at the office. M told me that C had been escorted out of the building earlier that morning. (YEAH WOW!)

3. I started work on Friday the 27th at The Firm. Wow. It's huge and very coporate like despite the 'nonprofit' IRS status we have. There are close to 200 employees and so much red tape to do anything. It was a big overwhelming, but everyone was super sweet and I enjoyed my first day. (no cute boys to report of, in my dept only one male who is engaged to some teacher. whatever!)

4. I took the weekend of the 28th off from job #2 so that I'd have some time to myself to prep for the new job. Gosh am I happy I decided to do that! Saturday night Smalls came into town from the 'burbs and spent the night with me. It was 'girls night out" to adams morgan and we had fun--not a completel blast, but fun. I'm glad Smalls was able to come and spend some time with me--i feel much more comfortable with her than before so it's all good. M and C joined us along with a coworker of C.

5. Sunday was spent lounging around doing nothing. it was great! :)

6. Monday (the 30th) was the real start to the job. We had a committee meeting and I was literally thrown in with no prep and no knowledge of what was going on. It was an interesting meeting and everyone seemed very nice and welcoming to a new staff member. my deptartment has been growing by leaps and bounds (as well as the entire company) so people are used to seeing new faces around. CUTE BOY ALERT: I did see a handsome young fella in the kitchen when i went to get some hot chocolate during the day. I have now learned what his name and title/department but sadly, he works in the other building and I have no real reason to ever be over there.

Reflections as of 1/30/06: Things are good in my life right now--or at least I can tell they are getting better (as I write this in retrospective, I know they are, but I knew it then too). Although hard to leave the Pit, I think my mood and attitude will change. They say you only attract the people in your life who are like you (or something along those lines) and frankly, I've been lacking in the friends dept for the last 1.5 year. Partially from lack of trying but also becuase of lack of opportunity. I was so wrapped up in my little world that I was unable to look forward for better things. Now that one crappy part of my life is over, I think that I'll be able to attract more positive people into my life and feel like I'm developing a life for myself here in the District.
Friends from Boston have expressed sadness over my 'moving on' with my life when it comes to friends. I mentioned something about hanging with the 'crew' and S got very sad. It's true, I'm moving on. Exactly what I wanted/needed from moving down here instead of staying in Boston. If I had stayed and worked at Children's Hopsital, I would have had the same friends and never needed (or wanted to) branch out to other people--to make an effort to make friends. It's hard for me to make friends (I think it has something to do with trust and/or relying too much on one person for happiness....) so I'm happy that I've finally got a group that I love to hang out with. I hope that we will continue to be as close as we are now and spend time together. I think we are to each other what we were missing in our lives in DC.

I think C$ is going through some changes, good changes. I'm being more independent and yet more relient on people --does that make any sense? I feel like I finally have a life here that I can be proud to tell people of- there's no more lying "oh things are great here, oh yeah, i looove DC" to cover the fact that I was lonely and to some extent, depressed. It wasn't horrible, but a few times I broke down and honestly didn't know what to do. I thought about heading back to Boston, to take the easy route and go back to the safety net of my mom and best friend, but now I am very proud that I did not give in. I stuck it through and did the best I could with what was available. I probably could have talked to people about my unhappiness, that might have made it easier, but I was ashamed. I didn't want people to know that I was sad, that I was lonely or that I had no friends. Honestly, I wouldn't have responded well to that if my friend had come to me saying those things. And I think that may have had something to do with the breakdown of the possible relationship between DCboy and I. He saw that I was alone and that in him, i'd find friendship and companionship--a little too much for him. He needed someone with her own life so that his wouldn't be compromised (that sounds horrible, but not really: he's hardly in town and if he had dated me and needs someone that isn't dependent on him for enterntainment and one that'll be ok with him being gone so often). Last year at this time, I was needy, but I don't feel like that anymore--i have a life, a pretty good one in fact, and if i were to find someone special along the way to share it with, so be it. but if not, then I am going to enjoy living my life in the here and now and not in the past.


C$

More update to come soon when I have time :)