What I've Learned

(from a fwd email)

I've learned that you cannot make
someone love you. All you can do is stalk
them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how much I care
some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up
trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof,
to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for
about fifteen minutes. After that you better have a
big willy or huge boobs.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to
others-- they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that you can keep vomiting long after
you think you're finished.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do
unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a
relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better
be a lot of money to take its place.

I've learned that 99% of the time when something
isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.

I've learned that people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon and all the less importatant
ones never go away.